Holiday Humor: Holiday Dieting Tips

Amusing tips for keeping the weight off during the holidays: 1 – If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories. — 2 – If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, they cancel each other out. — 3 – When eating with someone else, calories don’t count if you both eat the same amount.

Holiday Humor: Santa is a She

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he’s a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing, social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off! For starters, the vast majority of men don’t even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves.

Ground Beef Stroganoff

Beef Stroganoff: Mouthwatering, delicious, tasty… just a few words to describe this flavorful recipe. Don’t be surprised if there are no left-overs! The recipe is easy to make and there are several variations that could be done.

Hillbilly Humor: Bubba’s Sales Pitch

Bubba’s Sales Pitch: Bubba`s first military assignment was to a military induction center, and, because he was a good talker, they assigned him the duty of advising new recruits about the government benefits, especially the GI insurance to which they were entitled.

Before long the Captain in charge of the induction center began noticing that Bubba was getting a 99% sign up for the top GI insurance.

Hillbilly Humor: Hillbilly Family Visits the City

A Hillbilly family visiting the city…

A Hillbilly family from the hills was visiting the city and they were in a mall for the first time in their life. The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

Holiday Humor: History of the Pilgrims

This is a collection of short pieces about history written by eighth graders and compiled by Bill Lawrence, a teacher and columnist. – “The Pilgrams were a bunch of English wonderers who wanted to worship as they wanted to. They excaped the Church of England and came over here because they heard that American churches were different. The May Flower was the ship with which they came in. It didn’t have a bathroom on board so there was quite an oder. Priscilla Mullins was the captain.”