Hillbilly Humor: Moving Cars

Weekly Hillbilly Humor: Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual cup of morning coffee listening to the weather report coming over the radio. “There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets.”

Holiday Humor: Not A Hallmark Card

The following sentiments will never be found on a Hallmark card: “Looking back over the years that we’ve been together,
I can’t help but wonder:… What was I thinking?” — “I must admit, you brought Religion in my life…. I never believed in Hell until I met you.” —

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Hillbilly Humor: Down Where the Apples Grow

Weekly Hillbilly Humor: This poem was written about Mrs. Huddle’s late Grandfather by his sister, June Macomber.  It is based on an actual event. Today would have been his 91st birthday – I miss you Grandpa Weirdo! — Here is a tale, as old as the hills. It’s full of adventure, comedy and thrills, Its full of pain and full of agony, too…

Hillbilly Humor: Redneck Birth Control

Weekly Hillbilly Humor: After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough. The husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told him that he and his wife/cousin didn’t want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem….

Hillbilly Humor: Slanted News

Slanted News: Two boys are playing football in the Golden Gate Park when one is attacked by a Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog’s collar and twists, breaking the dog’s neck.

Hillbilly Humor: Computer Technology

This here is our technology dictionary. Now, if these get to compilated, ya might need to rest yur brain a bit. Maybe drink a beer and watch some NASCAR. BACKUP – What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods. BAR CODE – Them’s the fight’n rules down at the local tavern.

Holiday Humor: 12 Days After Christmas

The first day after Christmas, My true love and I had a fight. And so I chopped the pear tree down. And burnt it, just for spite, Then with a single cartridge, I shot that blasted partridge. My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.

Holiday Humor: Twenty Ways to Confuse Santa

Twenty Ways to Confuse Santa: 1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds. 2. While he’s in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket. 3. Leave him a note, explaining that you’ve gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.