Holiday Humor: 500 Valentine Cards

500 Valentine Cards: A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing.—

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Holiday Humor: Lists of Rules for Him & Her

Holiday Humor: Lists of Rules for Him & Her -1. The Female always makes The Rules. 2. The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification. 3. No Male can possibly know all The Rules. —- 1. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it’s up put it down. 2. Don’t cut your hair. Ever. 3. Don’t make us guess.

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Holiday Humor: Marriage Is…

Holiday Humor – Marriage Is… – A best man’s speech should be like a mini-skirt: short enough to be interesting, but long enough to cover the bare essentials. — A classified ad which read “Wife Wanted” received hundreds of responses, all from men saying “You can have mine.” — A gentleman is one who never swears at his wife while ladies are present.

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Holiday Humor: Women vs. Men

Women vs. Men: Some of the more humorous differences between men and women — A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need. — A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

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Holiday Humor: Dictionary of Dating

Dictionary of Dating: Having trouble dating? Perhaps you don’t have a good understanding of how things work. Use this glossary to get a better handle on your love life! — DATING: The process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don’t especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future. — EASY: A term used to describe a woman who has the morals of a man.

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Hillbilly Humor: Moving Cars

Weekly Hillbilly Humor: Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual cup of morning coffee listening to the weather report coming over the radio. “There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets.”

Holiday Humor: Not A Hallmark Card

The following sentiments will never be found on a Hallmark card: “Looking back over the years that we’ve been together,
I can’t help but wonder:… What was I thinking?” — “I must admit, you brought Religion in my life…. I never believed in Hell until I met you.” —

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Hillbilly Humor: Down Where the Apples Grow

Weekly Hillbilly Humor: This poem was written about Mrs. Huddle’s late Grandfather by his sister, June Macomber. ┬áIt is based on an actual event. Today would have been his 91st birthday – I miss you Grandpa Weirdo! — Here is a tale, as old as the hills. It’s full of adventure, comedy and thrills, Its full of pain and full of agony, too…

Hillbilly Humor: Redneck Birth Control

Weekly Hillbilly Humor: After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough. The husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told him that he and his wife/cousin didn’t want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem….