Is It Love, Lust or Marriage: LOVE- when your eyes meet across a crowded room — LUST- when your tongues meet across a crowded room — MARRIAGE- when your belt won’t meet around your waist, and you don’t care —
The following sentiments will never be found on a Hallmark card: “Looking back over the years that we’ve been together,
I can’t help but wonder:… What was I thinking?” — “I must admit, you brought Religion in my life…. I never believed in Hell until I met you.” —
Weekly Hillbilly Humor: This poem was written about Mrs. Huddle’s late Grandfather by his sister, June Macomber. It is based on an actual event. Today would have been his 91st birthday – I miss you Grandpa Weirdo! — Here is a tale, as old as the hills. It’s full of adventure, comedy and thrills, Its full of pain and full of agony, too…
Weekly Hillbilly Humor: After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough. The husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told him that he and his wife/cousin didn’t want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem….
Slanted News: Two boys are playing football in the Golden Gate Park when one is attacked by a Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog’s collar and twists, breaking the dog’s neck.
This here is our technology dictionary. Now, if these get to compilated, ya might need to rest yur brain a bit. Maybe drink a beer and watch some NASCAR. BACKUP – What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods. BAR CODE – Them’s the fight’n rules down at the local tavern.
The first day after Christmas, My true love and I had a fight. And so I chopped the pear tree down. And burnt it, just for spite, Then with a single cartridge, I shot that blasted partridge. My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.
Twenty Ways to Confuse Santa: 1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds. 2. While he’s in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket. 3. Leave him a note, explaining that you’ve gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.
I regret to inform you that effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve the Southern United States on Christmas Eve. Due to overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209.