Posts Tagged ‘Weekly’
You know you’re a Hillbilly when…
The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse.
You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
You think a woman who is “out of your league” bowls on a different night.
Jack Daniel’s makes your list of “Most Admired People.”
The Redneck Oil Change Checklist-1. Go to O’Reilly auto parts and write a check for $50 dollars for oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and scented tree. 2. Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking it back to O’Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard. 3. Open a beer and drink it.
Two football players were taking an important final exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the Sugar Bowl the following week. The exam was fill-in-the-blank. The last question read, “Old MacDonald had a _________.” Bubba was stumped. He had no idea of the answer.
Tiny Cabin: A tourist from New York was hiking through the mountains of North Georgia when he came upon the tiniest cabin he had ever seen in his life. Intrigued, he went up and knocked on the door. ‘Anybody home?’ he asked. ‘Yep,’ came a kid’s voice through the door.
A few Hillbilly quotes: Slicker than a harpooned hippo on a banana tree. Don’t worry too much about it. Just do all you can do and let the rough end drag. If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?
ISSUED BY THE SOUTHERN TOURISM BUREAU TO ALL VISITING NORTHERNERS AND NORTHEASTERN URBANITES AND PEOPLE FROM STATES OUTSIDE THE SOUTH (i.e, Yankees)
1) Don’t order filet mignon or pasta primavera at Waffle House. It’s just a diner. They serve breakfast 24 hours a day. Let them cook something they know. If you confuse them, they’ll kick your…