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February 18, 2012 | Hillbilly Humor

Hillbilly Humor: Southern Dictionary

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Hillbilly Humor with The Huddles Southern Dictionary

ALL – noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: “I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck.”

BAHS – noun. A supervisor.
Usage: “If you don’t stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!”

BAMMER – noun. The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum.
Usage: “A tornader jes went through Bammer an’ left $20,000,000 in improvements.”

BARD – verb. Past tense of the infinitive “to borrow.”
Usage: “My brother bard my pickup truck.”

BARE – noun. An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast.
Usage: “Ah thank ah’ll have a bare.”

BOB WAR – noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: “Boy, stay away from that bob war fence.”

DID – adjective. Not alive.
Usage: “He’s did, Jim.”

EAR – noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA).
Usage: “He can’t breathe … give ’em some ear!”

FAR – noun. A conflagration.
Usage: “If my brother from Jawjuh doesn’t change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far.”

FARN – adjective. Not local.
Usage: “I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed … must be from some farn country.”

FAT – noun, verb. 1. a battle or combat. 2. to engage in battle or combat.
Usage: “You younguns keep fat’n, n’ ah’m gonna whup y’uh.”

GUMMIT – Noun. An often-closed bureaucratic institution.
Usage: “Great … ANOTHER gummit shutdown!”

HAZE – a contraction.
Usage: “Is Bubba smart?” “Nah … haze ignert.”

HEAVY DEW – phrase. A request for action.
Usage: “Kin I heavy dew me a favor?”

HEIDI – noun. Greeting.

HIRE YEW – Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage: Heidi, hire yew?”

HOD – adverb. Not easy.

HOT – noun. A blood-pumping organ.
Usage: “A broken hot is hod to fix.”

IGNERT – adjective. Not smart. See “Auburn Alumni.”
Usage: “Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!”

JAWJUH – noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida.
Usage: “My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck.”

JU-HERE – a question.
Usage: “Juhere that former Dallas Cowboys’ coach Jimmy Johnson recently toured the University of Alabama?”

LOT – adjective. Luminescent.
Usage: “I dream of Jeanie in the lot-brown hair.”

MUNTS – noun. A calendar division.
Usage: “My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd from him in munts.”

RANCH – noun. A tool.
Usage: “I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago.”

RATS – noun. Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: “We Southerners are willing to fight for out rats.”

RETARD – Verb. To stop working.
Usage: “My granpaw retard at age 65.”

SEED – verb, past tense.
Usage: “I ain’t never seed New York City!”

TAR – noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: “Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn’t git a flat tar in my pickup truck.”

TARRED – adverb. Exhausted.
Usage: “I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred.”

THANK – verb. Ability to cognitively process.
Usage: “Ah thank ah’ll have a bare.”

TIRE – noun. A tall monument.
Usage: “Lord willing and the creeks don’t rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime.”

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