You know you’re a Hillbilly when…
The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse.
You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
Jack Daniel’s makes your list of “Most Admired People.”
You wonder how gas stations keep their restrooms so clean.
Someone in your family died right after saying “Hey, y’all watch this!”
You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas it has in it.
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
You think a woman who is “out of your league” bowls on a different night.