Hillbilly Humor: 40 Things You Won’t Hear A Redneck Say
40 Things You Won’t Hear A Redneck Say
- Oh I just couldn’t, she’s only sixteen.
- I’ll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
- Duct tape won’t fix that.
- Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan.
- Come to think of it, I’ll have a Heineken.
- We don’t keep firearms in this house.
- Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
- You can’t feed that to the dog.
- I thought Graceland was tacky.
- No kids in the back of the pickup, it’s just not safe.
- Wrestling’s fake.
- Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
- We’re vegetarians.
- Do you think my gut is too big?
- I’ll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
- Honey, we don’t need another dog.
- Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?
- Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
- Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
- Spittin’ is such a nasty habit.
- I just couldn’t find a thing at Walmart today.
- Trim the fat off that steak.
- Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
- The tires on that truck are too big.
- I’ll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
- I’ve got it all on the C: drive.
- Unsweetened tea tastes better.
- Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
- My fiancee, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany’s.
- I’ve got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
- Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
- She’s too young to be wearing a bikini.
- Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
- Hey, here’s an episode of “Hee Haw” that we haven’t seen.
- I don’t have a favorite college team.
- Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
- You All.
- Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
- Nope, no more for me. I’m drivin tonight.
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