1 – If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2 – If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, they cancel each other out.
3 – When eating with someone else, calories don’t count if you both eat the same amount.
4 – Foods used for medicinal purposes have no calories. This includes any chocolate used for energy, brandy, Sara Lee Cheesecake (eaten whole), and Haagen-Daz Ice Cream.
5 – Movie-related foods are much lower in calories simply because they are a part of the entertainment experience and not part of one’s personal fuel. This includes Milk Duds, popcorn with butter, Junior Mints, Snickers, and Gummi Bears.
6 – Cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breakage causes calorie leakage.
7 – If you eat the food off someone else’s plate, it doesn’t count.
8 – If you eat standing up the calories all go to your feet and get walked off.
9 – Food eaten at Christmas parties has no calories, courtesy of Santa.
10 – STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backward.