Holiday Humor: Not A Hallmark Card

Huddlenet Holiday Humor: Valentine's DayThe following sentiments will never be found on a Hallmark card…

  • “Looking back over the years that we’ve been together,
    I can’t help but wonder:… What was I thinking?”
  • “Congratulations on your wedding day!….
    Too bad no one likes your wife.”
  • “How could two people as beautiful as you….
    have such an ugly baby?”
  • “I’ve always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love….
    After having met you, I’ve changed my mind.”
  • “I must admit, you brought Religion in my life….
    I never believed in Hell until I met you.”
  • “As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am….
    that you’re not here to ruin it for me.”
  • “Thanks for being a part of my life!!!….
    I never knew what evil was before this!”
  • “Before you go,…. I would like you to take this knife out of my back.
    You’ll probably need it again.”
  • “Someday I hope to get married…. but not to you.”
  • “You look great for your age…. Almost Lifelike!”
  • “When we were together, you always said you’d die for me….
    Now that we’ve broken up, I think it’s time you kept your promise.”
  • “I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best friend….
    So here’s his leash, water bowl and chew toys.”
  • “We have been friends for a very long time….
    What do you say we call it quits?”
  • “I’m so miserable without you….
    It’s almost like you’re here.”
  • “Congratulations on your new bundle of joy….
    Did you ever find out who the father was?”
  • “You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket….
    I’d miss you heaps and think of you often.”
  • “Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday….
    So we’re having you put to sleep.”
  • “Your kisses are sweet, your hugs are passionate….
    But compared to your sister, they’re only second rate.”

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Stacy is the mother of 3, step-mom of 3 and grandparent of 3. She retired as a project manager for a environmental laboratory. In her spare time she volunteers with her daughter's high school band. She has been developing websites for over 15 years, both for herself and others. Cooking, sewing, reading and history are just a few of her passions. Reading about history is a double passion!

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